Never Leave My Side
by Shikibu Murasaki
Summary: Yuki is dead. And trying to keep Shuuichi from hurting himself is tougher than Hiroshi or anyone from N-G ever thought.


Never leave my side  
  
Uhm, standard disclaimers apply. I don't own Gravitation, just making some characters cry and acknowledging the great talent of Maki Murakami-sensei. Death fic, not good. Don't know who the pairing is just yet.  
  
***  
  
Chapter One: Alone  
  
It was dark. He was living alone, but he didn't use to.  
  
Lonely purple eyes looked up from the dark corner of his room. He didn't even notice that it was nighttime already. He didn't feel like keeping track of time anymore. In fact, living felt useless. It felt empty and he didn't understand why he was still breathing. After what had happened, he might as well have just died along with him. Everything was taken from him. People kept saying he wasn't alone and that they were always there when he needed them. But he knew they could only do so far.  
  
He didn't feel like living. He didn't feel alive anymore.  
  
The man he loved was gone from him. He couldn't believe that a relationship that lasted for so long could only end in a matter of seconds.  
  
It wasn't as if Yuki left him. He knew that even though, Yuki wasn't the most sensitive person in the world - he knew that he would always be by his side. And in a way, he had promised that. He was happy, they had their fights, he had his harsh ways of dealing with him. But it would all be alright in the end. He was always gentle afterwards. There would be the occasional name calling, but somehow he had gotten used to it and had somehow found it endearing.  
  
He closed his eyes, he could still hear his voice. Calling him an idiot, telling him that he would always be there, comforting him when times became the worst. Tears began to roll down his eyes as soft sobs escaped his lips. There was no way that Yuki could comfort him now.  
  
Yuki's gone. He told himself again.  
  
He heard the doorbell ringing. As his usual cheerful self, he would have gotten up and headed to the door immediately. But he didn't move. He wanted them to go away, he wanted everything to end as soon as Yuki was gone. He wanted everything taken from him.  
  
I don't deserve to live.  
  
I let Yuki die. I don't deserve to live.  
  
He slowly looked up. A few steps away from him was his table, piles of papers from writing lyrics were everywhere. Pencils and pens were scattered on the floor. It was a complete mess. He took a deep breath as he slowly stood up. Walking towards it and pushing all the pieces of paper away. He looked desperate to find something. He looked through the drawers, throwing everything out. He pulled the third drawer open, pushing a few notebooks and papers away. He stopped and nodded as he reached for something. He held it, clutching it in his hands.  
  
His purple eyes stared at the cutter he held in his hand, pushing the blade out. He looked at his wrists. The sounds of the doorbell were continuous. But he didn't care anymore. In a few moments, it would all be over.  
  
No. I won't live anymore.  
  
****  
  
Hiroshi stood in front of the doorway, nervous as no one was answering. He frowned slightly and sighed. Knowing that his best friend, Shuuichi Shindou wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to right now. But after what happened, he couldn't say he could blame him.  
  
It was only a few days after the funeral. It's been the worst week of Shuuichi's life. Yuki had met up with an unfortunate fate as a car accident happen to have occurred. He was with Shuuichi at the time. They were driving back to his place when another car swerved out of nowhere. Usually, Yuki who was an excellent driver would have avoided it. But this time, he was surprised and he swerved out of the way, only to bump into another car. The driver of the other car and Shuuichi were injured and it wasn't really that bad. Yuki wasn't so lucky. Injuries and a broken neck. Not a good way to go.  
  
Ever since then, Shuuichi hasn't been coming to work. The people in N-G give him time to cope up with it. But Hiroshi was thinking a little different He knew the pink-haired boy more than anyone else in that building put together. And he knew how unstable he was. Especially when dealing with things like this. He was afraid Shuuichi would do something to hurt himself and he knew he had to be there to make sure it never happened.  
  
He and Yuki never really got along well. But he understood that the writer was an important person to him. He was just hoping not that important in the brink of driving his friend insane.  
  
He rung the doorbell again. There was no response. He was getting nervous. He didn't want to think it - but had something happened already? Had he gotten there too late? His heart was beating faster and faster against his chest. He now knocked instead of using the doorbell.  
  
''Oi, Shuuichi! Shuuichi! Open up!''  
  
There was no response. He took a deep breath and walked over to the window. He peered in.  
  
His eyes widened as he saw Shuuichi holding the cutter to his wrist. There were already little cuts that indicated that he was hesitating. Hiroshi wasted no time and went back to the doorway. He kicked it open and opened the lights, then ran inside.  
  
''Shuuichi!'' he called out, pulling his bestfriend in his arms. Shuuichi, who was too surprised dropped the knife and started to cry.  
  
''Shuuichi! What the hell do you think you're doing?!'' Hiroshi asked as he pulled him aside.  
  
''Let me go, Hiro! Let me go!'' the boy sobbed, pounding on Hiroshi's chest as he cried harder. ''I don't deserve to live! I don't deserve to live! Let me go! I have to die!''  
  
Hiroshi embraced him tightly, his cheek resting on his chest - he glanced back at the cutter as he felt Shuuichi hold onto him back, crying harder than he already was. He kept quiet, letting him embrace him. He closed his eyes as he felt as if Shuuichi didn't want to let him go. He wasn't going to leave his best friend alone. Not like this. This was more serious than he thought.  
  
''I deserve to die. I deserve to die.''  
  
***  
  
Tsuzuku  
  
Well, there you have it. I had to kill Yuki off to pry Shu-chan away from him. C and C's please. Keep those reviews coming in if you like! Thanks! 


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